Quieting the Noise of Regrets
Download MP3Welcome to a place of peace, hope, and divine encouragement. This is Joy in Every Step with your host, beloved preacher, retired teacher, and faithful through the valleys or dancing on the mountaintops, Sarita's voice will guide you back to his promises step by step. So open your heart, settle your spirit, and take the next step in faith with joy in every step.
Sarita Bernadette:Hi. I'm Sabrina Bernadette, and welcome back to Joy in Every Step. I'm so glad you're here. We all have something that we regret doing or saying. The memory or the moment can live on in our minds like a rude, uninvited guest if we allow it.
Sarita Bernadette:I've been there. The words, the actions, they get replayed over and over and over again. And we wish we could turn the clock back to a time before the misstep happened. If only, if only we could go back and change the behavior or snatch the words back. If only, if only we had a giant pink eraser and we could magically make it go away.
Sarita Bernadette:Remember pink erasers? When I was a classroom teacher, my first graders would fight to have one of those close by as they were writing. I think knowing they could erase their mistakes enabled them to write with a certain level of confidence and freedom. You know, if I mess up, I can make it go away and I can start all over again. I don't have to see my mistakes anymore.
Sarita Bernadette:No regrets. That's powerful. Stay with me. We're going to talk about quieting the noise of regrets today. Regret is defined as a feeling of sadness, repentance, or even disappointment over something that has happened or perhaps been done.
Sarita Bernadette:And I would imagine that all of us have something that we could call a regret, Or maybe we have more than one. It's plural, regrets, right? We all have them. It doesn't matter who we are or where we come from. It's part of the human condition.
Sarita Bernadette:None of us is perfect. There's a paraphrase of a quote that I love. It's from Kierkegaard, and it goes something like this. Life is lived going forward, but understood looking backwards. As we move through our lives, we can make choices and decisions that affect outcomes, right?
Sarita Bernadette:We make those choices every day and the importance of the choices we make become clearer as we go. Many times we look back and we realize we didn't have the awareness that we have now. In other words, we did the best we could with the information we had at that time. Some of you are familiar with the old adage, If I knew then, like I know now, yes, if only. Well, the positive side of that statement acknowledges growth and progress.
Sarita Bernadette:Listen to that. It implies that we've gained some wisdom and some experience over time and that we know something about how to apply that wisdom and experience in the here and now. As a result of that wisdom and experience, we've made some changes. So if that situation presented itself again today, things would be different, right? Yes.
Sarita Bernadette:Regrets can be noisy in our minds, but there are ways to quiet that noise and to move on. I want to share a scripture from the book of second Corinthians. It's the seventh chapter where Paul is writing to the church at Corinth again. From what I understand, he wrote several letters. A couple are recorded in the word of God, but there are others so scholars say.
Sarita Bernadette:Paul writes this letter to the church at Corinth and he's reminding them in there that there are some, basic understandings about the gospel and he also points out the importance of how they should, address issues that are popping up in the church. We know how that happens. Specifically though, Paul tells them that they are responsible for doing the work of actually living out and sharing the gospel. Paul encourages them to be sorrowful about what has taken place in the past and he stirs them to continue to make changes, to adjust their behavior as they go along. And what's interesting to me is the way he aims for their hearts.
Sarita Bernadette:He knows if their hearts aren't open, his letter or letters plural will fall on deaf ears. So Paul writes in second Corinthians, this is verses eight through 10 and this is the message version that I'm reading from. He says, I know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don't feel at all bad now that I see how it's turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while.
Sarita Bernadette:Now I'm glad, not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from Him. The result was all gain, no loss. Verse 10 says, Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around.
Sarita Bernadette:It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets and end up on a deathbed of regrets. That's some strong language. Those verses from Paul's letter capture the importance of reflecting on one's mistakes and using the lessons to get back on track.
Sarita Bernadette:We should use the lessons to realign ourselves with God's plan. He warns us about allowing the pain of regret to separate us from Him. That particular Bible translation uses the word distress distress, which means extreme anxiety, sorrow, and pain. Paul says the church at Corinth used their distress to make some changes, and as a result, they grew closer to God. The NRS VUE uses the term godly grief, godly grief.
Sarita Bernadette:And it goes on to reiterate that kind of grief leads one out of regret and into correction. Let's get into some life lessons from some witnesses in the word of God. First, David. David, I don't know about you, but he's one of my favorite witnesses in the word. There's just so much to learn from the life of David and many of you are familiar with him.
Sarita Bernadette:David was a prominent figure in the Old Testament. When you read the Psalms, when you read through the Psalms, you know that he loved the Lord. Right? He loved the Lord, but he led a complicated life. Right?
Sarita Bernadette:A complicated life. David was a mere shepherd boy when God anointed him, king over over Judah and then later Israel. God had set a purpose for David's life very, very early. David began to gain a reputation when he killed a giant named Goliath in the name of the Lord. Many of us are very familiar with that story.
Sarita Bernadette:David became a fierce warrior. He became a gifted musician and an accomplished poet. And yes, he indeed became a powerful and noteworthy king. Second Samuel five and ten tells us, and David went on and grew great, and the Lord God of hosts was with him. I love that verse.
Sarita Bernadette:And David went on and grew great, and the Lord God of hosts was with him. Put your name in there sometimes and repeat that verse over yourself. And Sarita went on and grew great. And the Lord God of hosts was with her. Put your name in there sometime and read that verse and speak that verse over yourself as you walk with the Lord.
Sarita Bernadette:Back to David. David did much that pleased the Lord in his life and God was there with him, right there with him the whole time. His name can be found in the ancestry of Jesus Christ. But David also made some mistakes, some really big ones. I won't list them all here.
Sarita Bernadette:Feel free to take some time to read about them if you wish to. And if you do, I would suggest that you focus on how David dealt with the consequences of his actions and how he was able to eventually move on. So one huge sin that you might have heard about, one huge sin that David regretted was one recorded in second Samuel eleven and twelve, and that one involved Uriah, the Hittite soldier in David's army. He happened to be Uriah happened to be the husband of Bathsheba, a woman that David saw and wanted. He had an affair with Bathsheba, and this all led to Uriah's death.
Sarita Bernadette:God was watching and let David know it through a prophet named Nathan. Yes, David messed up, but we can learn a very important lesson from him. David had regrets, and some of the Psalms spell those out. He was very specific and honest with the Lord, but the word of God lets us know that he was a man after God's heart. And I honestly believe that David's heart change, his heart posture was what moved God.
Sarita Bernadette:David was not only remorseful, he was repentant. Throughout his life, David appealed to God for mercy. Here's an example from Psalm 51. It's verse 10. David says, create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Sarita Bernadette:In this particular psalm, David confessed his sin, he asked for forgiveness, and then restoration. He knew his sin separated him from God, and David wanted to avoid that cycle of shame and fear surrounding what he had done. If David sat in, if David remained in regret, he would not have been able to accomplish all that God had planned for him. The brave warrior wouldn't have conquered cities and subdued tribes. The sincere worshiper wouldn't have given us the phrase that oft prose, rather, that often starts our worship services.
Sarita Bernadette:All those beautiful psalms, the gifted poet would not have written the verses that help us express our deep love and reverence for God. David would never have become the noble king if he had allowed the noise of his regrets to overtake him. David knew how to quiet the noise. He quieted the noise with praise and worship. David expressed his gratitude to the Lord for his grace and his mercy.
Sarita Bernadette:This is something I love about King David. This practice helped David move on and do what the Lord wanted him to do. In Psalm 30 verses four and five, David wrote, Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones praise his holy name, for his anger lasts only for a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime. Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. David reminded us that God is worthy of our praise and that even though things get messy at times, even uncomfortable at times, joy still comes.
Sarita Bernadette:Morning comes. What a way to quiet the noise of regret. Worship will do it every time. Worship moves regret out of the way so that we can get up and get moving. Now let me be clear, not every mistake we make rises to the level of the sin that David committed with Bathsheba and Uriah.
Sarita Bernadette:I understand that and I hope you do too. We can agree that David needed to pause to reflect and to ask God for forgiveness and restoration. Sometimes mistakes that we make are unintentional. Something might happen that we don't even plan. It's not calculated.
Sarita Bernadette:Perhaps we had something else planned and things just went awry. However, it caused some regret, right? Some pain even. Even though we didn't intend for it to happen, it did and it can linger. The pain of that regret, the pain of that event can linger if we allow it to.
Sarita Bernadette:Romans eight and one reminds us, therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. You have to grab that truth and believe it. We are hardest on ourselves. Often God has forgiven us, and people have forgotten all about it. They've moved on.
Sarita Bernadette:God has moved on. But yet we're holding on to it, unable to forgive ourselves. That thought, that thought led me to Judas. I know that's a hard left turn, isn't it? But just go with me for a moment.
Sarita Bernadette:I wondered why his situation turned out the way it did when I compared him to Peter, the disciple. I mean, they they both betrayed Jesus. Right? Well, full circle moment here. Judas betrayed Jesus and regretted his actions so deeply, he couldn't even ask for forgiveness really, and repent.
Sarita Bernadette:He took his regret off alone in his darkness and he sank into despair. Look, he was sorry enough to return the money he was paid to turn Jesus into the authorities, but was that true repentance? Was it really heartfelt? Peter, on the other hand, remembered that Jesus predicted he would deny him three times. And the word lets us know that he cried bitter tears.
Sarita Bernadette:He expressed godly grief. And when he saw the resurrected Jesus, Peter told him he loved him each time Jesus asked the question. Three times he said, yes, Lord. I love you. You know I love you.
Sarita Bernadette:True repentance. Peter was able to forgive himself and accept his mission to help spread the gospel. So yes, you can quiet the noise by forgiving yourself. Go to God in prayer and after you've asked Him to forgive you, ask Him to guide you through the process of self forgiveness. It may take some time and the process may require you to find someone safe to confide in.
Sarita Bernadette:That might be a relative, it might be a friend, or even a licensed therapist. Yes, I believe in Jesus and therapy. So to wrap up, quieting the noise of regret is doable. Remember, ask forgiveness if you need to. Then repent, that is turn away from what you did, and do everything in your power not to repeat that behavior again.
Sarita Bernadette:Ask for restoration. Spend time in worship. There's nothing like it to take your focus off the regret and turn it to what really matters. Work on forgiving yourself. Give yourself some grace.
Sarita Bernadette:Talk it over with someone you trust. And journal about it. Take some time to write some things down. We know that writing down what's on our minds, what's in our hearts has been shown to be helpful with processing our emotions and reducing stress and anxiety. It's also, it's also a way for us to create space for intimate time with God.
Sarita Bernadette:Lastly, but most importantly, get into that word of God. Study the scriptures that address thinking and how to change it. That's how you can maintain a mindset that allows you to move forward. Joyce Meyer used to say, think about what you're thinking about. So I'm closing with this scripture.
Sarita Bernadette:It's from Philippians four and eight and I'm reading from the NRSVUE. It goes like this, Finally, and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Quiet the noise of regret by replacing those thoughts with the thoughts that are worth your time. You've been listening to Joy in Every Step. I'm Sarita Bernadette and I'm grateful you chose to spend just a little bit of your time here with me.
Sarita Bernadette:You can find Joy in Every Step wherever you listen to your podcasts and please give us a follow there. Do check out the website at joyineverystep.org.
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